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Expert Q&A
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| By Mary Dailey Addictions Counselor | ||
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My daughter wants to stay out all night for prom. She wants to stay at her boyfriend's house (the parents will be there). Even so, I don't like the idea -- but I don't want to be unreasonable. I know they will be carefully chaperoned and will sleep in different rooms, but how can I relax about this situation? I do want her to have fun.
It sounds like you have decided to allow your daughter to have the overnight. If you want to be more comfortable with that decision, invite the boy to stay at your house. If you don't do that, at least be sure you talk directly with the boy's parents and establish what your ground rules are. I don't know how the all-night prom adds anything to the experience. If you are uncomfortable with the extended party, I would advise you to talk with your daughter. David Elkind, author of "All Grown Up and No Place to Go" writes eloquently about giving our children too many privileges too fast. If your daughter is only 16, do you really want her to have an overnight?
I think it would be more fun for her to have an actual end to the evening...the good-night kiss at the door and a chance to wake up in her own bed in the morning with her memories of the dance. Often, when the event is an overnight, teens get over-tired and disappointed by the end of the evening. You may provide her with a good excuse to end her evening at a reasonable time. You might want to invite the boy or the group over for a picnic on the following day. This provides an opportunity for additional fun.
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