- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- preteenagers today articles
- preteenagers today q&a
- teenagers today articles
- teenagers today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Expert Q&A
 |  |  |
| By Chris Crutcher Author, Licensed Child and Family Therapist | ||
 |
My 16-year-old has developed a terrible fear of flying. She has flown many times as a child, but around the time of 9/11, we took more than a year?s pause from traveling. We now have a wedding to attend across the country, and she is refusing to go. She is not being rude or terrible about it – which might make it easier – rather she is simply distraught. When we talk about it, she literally has physical symptoms like nausea, sweats and chills. I have told her that she can skip the wedding, but my sister thinks that I should get her counseling and make her come. Should I force my daughter to fly even though she is very scared?
Probably both you and your sister are right. Tell her she doesn't need to go and it's no big deal, and let her have counseling about it if she wants it. From the way you stated it, I'm assuming you took a year?s pause from traveling because of 9/11, or at least that was her assumption. If that's true, you probably helped draw the parameters around her fear.
No big deal. Lots of people had bad reactions. Now she gets to get over it in a way that fits for her. There will come a time when she feels the need to travel, like say a vacation to Mexico or a rendezvous with a boyfriend who lives far away, and that will be motivation to take care of this, or she won't get over it and will be forced to become fabulously wealthy enough to move about the country in a huge bus, ala John Madden."
Related Expert Q&A
- Do you feel it's more the school's responsibility or the parents' to stop the bullying?
- What advice would you have for parents who are dealing with bullying, whether it's their child doing the bullying or being bullied?
- My daughter, 18, wants to become a doula. What sort of education is necessary and what can she expect from this career?
- Will boys get stronger than girls who do a strength training regimen?
- What are the benefits of strength training for children?
More Answers by this Expert
- We recently moved into a new neighborhood, and my 8-year-old son has made friends with the 13-year-old boy next door. They share a common interest in sports, but I am reluctant to encourage the friendship because of the age difference. What should I do?
- Should I wait to tell my son about his complicated adoption until he is 18?
- My husband says an adopted child will feel inferior to our biological children. How can I argue that?
- Some classmates are teasing my son, and I am worried my son will gain a negative image of our family and adoption. What should I do?
- My daughter is getting married and she wants both her adoptive dad – my husband – and her biological father involved. How do I guide her in this? How do we word things on the program?