- my iParenting
- quick clicks
- preteenagers today articles
- preteenagers today q&a
- teenagers today articles
- teenagers today q&a
- community & groups
- research baby names
- prepare a birth plan
- content channels
- ip channel rss feeds
- read birth stories
- read parenting stories
- recommended books
- e-newsletters
- safety recalls
- ip diaries
- ip store
- mom of the month
- dad of the month
- editor's letter
- letters to the editor
From Our Sponsors
- e-newsletters
- Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters
- award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Expert Q&A
 |  |  |
| By Jennifer Brout-Lynn psychologist | ||
 |
My son is really into airsoft guns. He doesn't own any, but he has friends that do. They play "war," and he is constantly wanting to hang out in the magazine isle at the grocery store to look at magazines that promote this sort of thing. He talks about it a lot too, and he has started making shooting noises when he is doing homework or playing on the computer. He has asked for an airsoft gun for his birthday. He will be 13. I am against it -- guns in general -- but my husband seems to think that I am making too much out of it, and that if I forbid it, we will really have a problem on our hands. Help!
Funny that you should ask this question! I have been struggling with the same problem in my home. I have finally conluded that whatever you decide in regard to the airsofit gun, it is most importrant to make sure that your son understands the reasoning behind your opinion.
Rather than battling with your son (and husband) regarding the purchase of the airsoft gun, calmly explain why you are against it. Your son may counter most of what you say. However, this does not necessarily mean that your values are not getting through to him. Also, by engaging him in conversation you are leading him to reason about the subject on his own. Despite what you can tell your son, it is so much more meaningful if while giuded by your values he also employs his own reasoning powers to arrive at a conclusion about guns. This may not happen overnight but with patience and reinforcment there is a good chance that it will.
Ultimately what you and your husband decide is of course a personal choice. However, even if you give in, dont give up! You can still reinforce your values by talking to your son about the many reasons guns (even "fake guns") are destructive. In other words (pardon the pun), you can lose the battle and still win the war!
Related Expert Q&A
- Do you feel it's more the school's responsibility or the parents' to stop the bullying?
- What advice would you have for parents who are dealing with bullying, whether it's their child doing the bullying or being bullied?
- My daughter, 18, wants to become a doula. What sort of education is necessary and what can she expect from this career?
- Will boys get stronger than girls who do a strength training regimen?
- What are the benefits of strength training for children?
More Answers by this Expert
- My 12-year-old son is afraid to sleep alone. What should I do?
- My 11-year-old son sometimes explodes emotionally. What can I do to help him?
- My 12-year-old has never been shy, but all of a sudden she is worried about people liking her. How can I help her?
- My son has asked for an airsoft gun for his birthday. I am against it, but my husband thinkst I am making too much out of it. Who's right?
- I told my daughter that nobody is to be in the house but her when there are no parents home. She says I don't trust her. Can you help me?