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Expert Q&A
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| By Dana Chidekel, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist Author | ||
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My 16-year-old son is going to be a junior in high school. He has played football for two years with limited success. He has just informed us his heart is not in it, and he does not want to play anymore. I think he is making a mistake and would regret not playing. I just can't help but feel sad that he wants to give it up. What can I do?
It is so hard sometimes to let go of children, appropriately, and allow them to become who they wish to be, particularly if who they wish to be deviates from who we hoped they would wish to be. The issue here appears to be related to your sadness about the loss of football, and this is your issue to understand and contend with. I do not know what your son playing football means to you, but clearly it means something quite different to you than it means to him.
You are concerned that if he gives up, he may regret not playing. I would be concerned that you might later regret trying to force him to go in a direction that is entirely inconsistent with one in which he wants to go. Children are not allowed to have a say on many matters. Determining their interests and determining their personalities, however, are within their domain.
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