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Expert Q&A
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| By Jennifer Brout-Lynn psychologist | ||
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I have a 16-year-old daughter that decided to live with me when her mother and I divorced two years ago. We generally get along, but she wants to move back with her mother. The school that she is attending is a much safer, academically fit school than the school where her mother lives. Additionally, her mother is an extremely negative person who has a deeply negative effect on our daughter when they spend time together. I want what is best for my daughter. She has recently grown quite unhappy here, even started cutting herself. I am afraid that forcing her to stay here is causing psychological harm. What should I do?
It is very difficult to separate what is within the realm of the normal adolescent storm and what is related to the divorce. What your daughter is going through may or may not be exacerbated by (or helped) by a change in her living situation. There are of course pros and cons to each alternative. However, given that your daughter is cutting herself it is most important that she sees a therapist who can help her sort out how she feels and who can help her make the right decision. If your daughter is resistant to the idea of seeing a psychologist, let her know that she will be a big part of the decision making process in regard to where she lives. Despite any resistance you may meet, tell her that you love her and are very concerned about her recent behavior. Let her know that you have her best interest in mind and only want to help her make the right decision.
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