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Expert Q&A
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| By Mary Dailey Addictions Counselor | ||
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Help! I found pot in my son's backpack. I feel like a horrible mother because I was looking for a pen to scribble down a phone message, his backpack was nearby, and I reached in for a pen. I feel like I meddled -- and now look! I don't know what to do -- and I feel like whatever I do, I breached his trust by finding it in his backpack, even though I wasn't intentionally snooping.
Regarding finding pot in your son's backpack, the real issue is that you found pot, not that you looked in the backpack. If you had no reason to suspect pot use, by going into the backpack you were not snooping. You were looking for a pen. I hope you can talk with your son about the fact that you found the pot. Explain to him how you feel about pot use.
This is an opportunity to talk about the health risks of pot and your feelings about the dangers it poses for teens. You can ask him about his use: when did he start, how often he uses, why did he buy pot (I don't think you need to ask who sold it to him, since he won't tell you and will go on the defensive).
Explain to him that you are only concerned about his health and the problems pot use causes. Then you can talk about why he is using and what steps he will take to stop using.
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