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Expert Q&A
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| By Mary Dailey Addictions Counselor | ||
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My wife and I are separated and filing for divorce and I am concerned for the welfare of my boys while in her care. A neighbor told me that she frequently hears my wife screaming at the boys and she has seen her drunk, smelled the alcohol on her breath, etc. I know she drinks a lot and that is part of the reason for the divorce. I want to protect the boys and try to get full custody, but I'm not sure if I can. I travel a lot because of the work I do and I wouldn't be able to be home with them all the time the way my wife can. What should I do?
I share your concern for your sons. Children exposed to alcoholism and the anger and rage you describe are in danger. From what you have written, I think it would be wise to explore a change in custody arrangements.
While the logistics may be difficult for you, as a father you want to protect your sons. Have you talked with your wife about getting help for her drinking? Often, an intervention by family and friends can help the drinker face the damage she is causing and what she has to lose by continuing to drink. In this case, she has lost her marriage and is endangering her children.
Do you have family or friends in the area who can help you? Have you explored child care arrangements in your community? Have you thought about having someone come in to care for the boys while they are with their mother?
Your love for your sons will give you the strength to take charge of this dangerous situation.
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