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Home › Diaries › Nancy › December 19, 2000

Nancy's Diary Entries

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December 19, 2000

I have to say that my husband and I have very rarely told Whitney, "No" to activities that she wants to do. This week we told her "No" and she gave us the biggest argument of her life -- it was downright ugly. It was even frightening to me to see her get this upset at being told "No."

You see, now it seems to take more and more money for her to go and do things with her friends, so we have set down rules about her being more responsible around the house and helping out to earn the money she wants. Not that we are making her do anything outrageous, just things like keeping her room clean, putting away dishes from the dishwasher, reloading the dishwasher, helping fold clothes -- things that I had to do daily while growing up.

She is absolutely furious with this arrangement and has argued back to the point that her father has grounded her until the New Year. She became so upset that she told her dad that she hates him. What an ugly word. This has absolutely crushed her dad. Of all the things that she could have said, he says that this hurt him the worst.

I feel like I have to be the peacemaker between the two. It really hurts me to see them not getting along. I know she really didn't mean what she said, but I would really like to know a way to avoid a breakout like this again. How do we better prepare Whitney to handle being told "No" even if she really wants do something? And, how do we make her understand that the rules we have set are not a punishment, but are to help teach her responsibility? Also how do I help repair the hurt that she and her father feel right now? Any good advice will greatly be appreciated.

Nancy



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