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December 7, 2000

Boy, have my parenting issues gone global.

Shannon writes to tell me that she’s being stalked in Japan by a boy from Canada.

He’s someone she worked with last summer at a Christian camp near my home. While he was her coworker, he often accompanied her to church, called her at home and in many ways appeared to be just another of Shannon’s many male friends. Whenever I asked Shannon about him, she confirmed that he was "a nice guy, but only a friend."

Right before Shannon left for Japan, I noticed that this boy seemed upset. I told Shannon that I thought the boy liked her as more than a friend, but she shrugged it off. Besides, she said, he was going back to Canada.

Thanksgiving week, Shannon sent out a broadcast email message to all of her relatives and friends -- including this boy. He replied with a very personal response that implied a more intimate relationship had developed between he and my daughter. Fortunately for me -- unfortunate for him -- he accidentally sent his reply to everyone on Shannon’s mailing list.

Being the involved mom that I am, I sped off an email to Shannon asking her about this boy. Had her "friend" graduated to "boyfriend" status without her telling us?

Her reply was casual, but blunt. "No," she wrote. He’s just a boy she befriended because he had no friends. She felt sorry for him, she said, but he interpreted her kindness as a love interest. While she has tried to set him straight on the subject, he continues to hound her.

His pursuit concerns me. I’ve asked my daughter to advise me of boys like this so I can somehow intervene and help her. Her reply? "Mom, if I told you about every psycho that stalked me, we’d be talking for hours."

Oh yeah, that really eased my mind. Not!

Then she quickly changed the subject, taking this stalking in stride just as she had the erupting volcano outside her window. Who is this stranger my daughter has become? She was never this confident or at ease while at home... Guess she really needed to get out in the world to grow strong.

She’s more concerned about getting her hands on some "bubbles" -- the kind you blow through a wand -- than she is about addressing this stalking issue. Apparently you can’t find "bubbles" in Japan and she wants to introduce these to her Japanese friends.

Bubbles I can get, but I can never replace Shannon. So, I’m going to do what any loving mother would do. I’ll ship Shannon a case of bubbles. And, I’ll send this boy a very clear message.

Thanks to his carelessness while stalking my daughter, I have his email address -- and his name.

Koren