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January 6, 2005

SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR ANY TYPOS, I DIDN,T PROOF THIS!


Christmas break and all that happened…..

First off let me start off by writing about Joshua’s Christmas break and Christmas.
We met my ex, on the Saturday before Christmas (the 18th I believe) in North Myrtle Beach (got him to meet at the new place this time, which is more equal in time for us) to give him the children for the Christmas visitation.

The children actually got out of school that previous Thursday, but due to Joshua having to go back to the Dr. to get his cyst rechecked, we didn’t meet until Saturday morning late. I can’t remember if I have mentioned this before, but Joshua had what his pediatrician called a cyst, on his upper right shoulder blade, on his back. I believe it was sometime last summer when we were in the office for and ADHD check, that I mentioned the spot and had Dr. M take a look at it. Dr. M told me it was a cyst, and would need to be removed. Although it was very small, and actually really felt like Joshua had been shot with a BB and it was still under his skin, Dr. M said it needed to be removed. I checked with our insurance and found the only one Dermatologist here in Jax. Our plan does not require us to have a referral to go to specialists, but after calling the Dr. off ice they informed me that it doesn’t matter if my ins. doesn’t require a referral, but Dr. S did. So, I had to go back to the Peds office and get a referral in order to get the appt with the Derma. After waiting nearly 2 mos it was finally about time for Joshua’s appt. Just a couple days before the appt, the secretary called and said the Dr would be out of town that day that we needed to reschedule. Happy I was not, we had waited months, and now it was about time for school to resume after summer break, and I was not about to make Joshua or either of the children (Brianna also had an appt for her worts), have to miss school to come to an appt, after all it was them who needed to reschedule. So with actually trying to work them in, the secretary was able get us an appt the day before school started.
All in all, the whole appt was a total waste of our time and the $30 in copays that I had to pay. Dr. S looked at both children poked around a little bit, and then informed us there was nothing he would do. Not nothing he couldn’t do, but nothing he would do right now, just wait and watch. Dr. s informed us that he doesn’t not cut on children, that he doesn’t want to leave scars on them, and he also does not like to do anything to children that would make them cry, therefore making them not want to come back to him at an older age when they may really need to. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My son had a cyst on his back which another Dr said needed to be removed, and by the way had now grown to about the size of a pea, but old Dr. S said it was just a former bug bite that Joshua had scratched a lot and now it has formed scar tissue, and when Joshua irritates it by scratching it, it swells up. Whatever, quack is what came to my mind!
Well time came and went and told Dr. M what Dr. S had said at another appt, and things were just kind of let go.
Around Thanksgiving or the beginning of December, Joshua started to complain occasionally about the cyst itching and bothering him. By the second week of December, he was starting to complain that it was becoming a little painful when he hit a certain way. By the end of the second week the cyst seemed to be bothering Joshua more, but it was at times like when he was going to bed or other odd times that he would mention it, I would tell him he were going to have to get him something done with it, I guess call a Dr. in another town and see what we could get done. Well Sunday night before school was out for break, Joshua had gone to bed and about an hr later I heard him back up and in the bathroom upstairs. Knowing he needed to get a good nights sleep and plenty of sleep, because he had Practice EOG’s the follwing day, finding he up irritated me a little bit. I yelled up and asked him what he was doing, and nearly in tears he told me his back was really bothering him, he said he had rolled over on his back and it hurt so bad it woke him up. He put a cold wash cloth on it and said it felt a little better and was able to got back in and go to sleep.
The next morning I asked Joshua how his back was, and he said it was not bothering him at the moment, but it has really been hurting when he touches it the last few days. I told him I would try to call someone that day and see what we could get done for him. I called the Peds office that morning when they opened, and left a message for Dr. M to please call me regarding the cyst. The day went by and I never did hear back from Dr. M. I had purposely stayed at home all day just to wait for the call, because the nurse had told me if he didn’t call me in between patients, he would probably call me during lunch. Well, it was finally 3 pm and Joshua was home and no call from the Peds office. I called the office and the nurse told me well he must have been busy today and didn’t get a chance yet, Dr. M will probably call you after 5 then, or if he doesn’t today, he is on tomorrow and will call you then.
I didn’t have tomorrow to wait. I knew the children were due to go with their father the end of the week, and I wanted, needed something done immediately, not in a few days.
Back in September we took Joshua up the road to the Urgent care office which is on our insurance, to get his physical, which the old one had expired just that day and it was the second day of football tryouts and they would not let Joshua tryout any long until he got a new physical. So, they had worked for us in a pinch before, what about them working for us now. I called the office and explained we had been there before, that Joshua had a cyst which we had gone to a Derma for but he would not do anything with, and it was now painful and about the size of a nickel. The receptionist told me yes, they do have to capability to remove such a thing, but couldn’t guarantee that it would be taken care of there, at worse case, they would get us into someone else as quickly as they could, to get it taken care of now.
Not wanting to take all 4 children to go up there and sit and wait who knew how long, seeing that it is an Urgent care facility which is on a first come, first need, basis and I had no idea how many people would be up there when we got there and need to be seen before us, I waited until Jimmy got home to take Joshua up there. I just happened that it was a late day for my husband at work (trying to get thing wrapped up to be able to take off the end of the week) so it was after 7pm by the time we were able to go to the office, and they closed at 8pm. Walking in a half hr before closing I signed in and talked with the receptionist which I had talked with on the phone, so she would know exactly who we were and I wouldn’t have to go through the whole story of the situation again. Luckily there were only 2 other people in the waiting room when we got there and we only had to wait about 15-20 mins to get taken to a room. Right away a nurse came in and started evaluating Joshua and his cyst. It just happened that the nurse we got used to work for a Derma in one of the neighboring towns, and knew just what the deal was and how it would be taken care of.
Come to find out, all the swelling was actually infection, and the cyst definitely needed to be cut open and drained. A few minutes later the nurse came back with a cart full of medical supplies, then the Dr. came in. Actually it was a Nurse Practitioner, but he came in pretty quickly anyway. He re-explained the procedure that the nurse had told us, and got started right away. He first poked and squeezed Joshua’s cyst and around the cyst, then he got a syringe and started inserting it in Joshua’s back all around the cyst, to numb it. Joshua was such a touch guy. Frank (the NP) and the nurse both commented on how tough he was being, and that they have grown men scream and cry all the time getting the same thing done.
After about 10 mins Frank came back in the room. He picked up a scalpel and started to cut into the cyst. In a way it was kind of disgusting, and in another I had to watch just because it was my son they were cutting on. As soon as the slit was made( it was only about ¼-3/8 of an inch in length) the cyst opened up to a hole, and at the first touch junk started oozing out. It may be TMI here, but the infection, puss, just started squirming out as Frank pushed and squeezed the cyst and the area around it. I would say the puss was almost the consistency of toothpaste or icing that is being squeezed from an icing bag. There was a lot of puss that came out, and they took a culture of some of the first that did come out. After the puss there came deep red blood along with some puss, then there came a little hard piece, which I assume was the little BB feeling thing, then came more blood, and finally Frank was done squeezing. Thank God Joshua was numbed, because Frank squeezed and squeezed, and said Joshua would more than likely have bruising from it. After the squeezing was done, then came the packing. I guess the cyst cavity would have to heal from the inside out, and therefore the cut couldn’t just be stitched closed and let heal. They packed about 3-4 inches of ¼” iodine ribbon into the wound, then covered it with gauze and taped over it. I was given a prescription for strong antibiotics to get filled for Joshua, told to get some good waterproof bandades, and too keep it covered and waterproofed at all times, and they would see me back in 48 hrs to remove the packing and repack it. Oh, and by the way, Joshua would not be numbed the next time, ouch!!
Fourty-eight hrs meant 8pm Wednesday we were to go back. Since actually close at 8pm, we would need to show up around the same time Weds as we did that night.
I kept the bandage changed morning and night, there was quite a bit of blood that oozed out and the bandage would be all bloody each morning and night and needed to be changed. Weds night came and it was time for Joshua to go back to the clinic. Jimmy was working late again and not home, so I had no choice but to drag all 4 children to the clinic with me. Once again there were only a couple of cars in the parking lot, so I we were in luck again regarding having to wait. Joshua was out of the car first and ran to the door (it was raining and spitting ice and was literally freezing cold out). I no more than got the baby out of the car, had stroller in hand, reached the door myself , and the children read the note posted on the door. For some reason they had decided to close early. I about freaked. Here I was with a child that had stuff shoved in his back and was supposed to be removed then, and they were closed with no notice to us. We could see that there were still people in there, Thank the Lord for cell phones. It was just my luck that the office number was on the sign out front. Standing there nearly freezing, I called the number, of course I got a recording that they had closed early. I wasn’t giving up. I dialed the number again, as we pounded on the door, we could see the nurse we had had the other night, behind the front desk. I got smart and decided this call to push “0” and see if it would put me through to the desk instead of going right to the voicemail. Luckily it did ring, and the nurse picked it up. I told her we were there with Joshua whom needed to have his packing redone. She said oh, he hasn’t been back in 48 hrs, I said that right, we were supposed to come back at 7:30 tonight, it was only 7, and they were unexpectedly closed, what were we to do. She said is that you out front knocking on the door, oh, yes, could you please let us in. She said to hold on a moment and she would come get us.
They apologized to us for closing, but Dr. J had not shown up that day and Frank had worked late the night before and came in early for Dr. J that morning, and when Dr. J decided not to come in he told Frank he could just close early. That didn’t work for us though!
We got taken right back and the nurse took off the bandage and pulled the packing out. Frank came right in and said things looked good, squeezed the cyst area, took a wooden q-tip end and poked around in the cyst pocket, then stuffed a couple inches of iodine ribbon back in Joshua’s back. The poor kid, I wish I could have taken the pain for him, like I said, he wasn’t going to be numbed this time, and it about killed me to know he was in so much pain. When Joshua sat up he had tears running down his face, and his ears were fire red. Frank and Cindy (the nurse) both told him he was awesome, and that they had never had a patient be so still, Frank told him he didn’t think he could have been so still and done so well, honestly. Frank told us things looked good, to come back Saturday evening and he could probably remove the packing and leave it out at that time and just let things heal up. Wait a minute, Saturday won’t work for us, I have to meet the childrens father no later than Saturday morning, and that was pushing it. I had originally told him the 18th anyway, but Tim was wanting us to meet him Thursday night (the 16th and last day of school for the children), and Jimmy was willing to do that. Anyway, Frank said that would be fine, we could come back Friday night and he would remove things then, so we could meet the ex Saturday morning.
I called Tim and told him the news, he didn’t have much choice, I told him if we meet sooner it would mean taking Joshua to a Dr. down there and getting things taken care of there. Of course that would mean he would have to actually act like a parent, and he wouldn’t want to have to do that, so he said it would still like to get the kids Friday night, that is if the kids wanted to meet late and not wait till morning, he said let them decide.
We ended up going to the office early on Friday, around 6, so hopefully we could get in and out by 7 and on the road to meet Tim because the children said they would rather do it at night, and I was going to go ahead and do it, it meant they wouldn’t get to their father’s until mid-night or so, and us home until about then, but Jimmy was willing to do it, so we were going to try.
When we got to the office there were several people there already, more than there ever had been before, and we found out that they had a couple of emergencies going on in the back (burn victims) and they were taking all the staffs attention, so it would be a while. After being there about an hr we finally got called back. Frank ended up coming in by himself, no nurse to help him, so I ended up being the nurse that helped and ran for supplies. It wan’t good news though. The packing was removed and when Frank squeezed the area just to make sure it was doing ok, the area had shrunk another half of what it had been two nights before, but when he squeezed some puss came out. That wasn’t good and meant that Tim was still going to have to take him to a Dr. down in SC.
So, the wound had to be re-packed, and once again, Joshua would have to been seen by a Dr. in 48 hrs, so Sunday evening Tim would probably have to take Joshua to the Emergency Room to get things taken care of. I had called the Drs Care office down there, and they all said they took their last patients at 4:30, that would have been ok, so a few hrs early, but they also told me they were not providers for my insurance, and that wasn’t a good factor.
Saturday morning we got up and was out of the house a little after 8am. If we had any amount of traffic at all, that meant we would be late meeting Tim at 10:30 as planned. Traffic was moving along well and a lot of the stoplights in the small towns we drive through, were just flashing caution, so we were able to make good time. About 15 mins before we were to meet I saw a sign that said Myrtle Beach was 20 miles away. Not knowing if we would make it on time I called Tim and told him we were going to be a little late meeting, Asher had been sick and vomiting for two days, and I really didn’t care if Tim got mad that we were late, he was lucky we were even meeting him that day, Jimmy had been sick that morning also, so Tim was real lucky we were there at all. When I called Tim was very civil to me, it just happened that he also was going to be late, but of course he didn’t bother to call me, and just as usual, he would have just shown up late and we would have been waiting on him, it happened that we still had to wait on him about a half hr. We ended up getting there right on time after all, but I wanted to be on the safe side and let Tim know we might be late, just to be nice as I usual am.
When we got there I started writing down all the info Tim would need about the children and meds and Drs care. In the past I have verbally given him instructions and brief ones in writing and they never get followed. This time it was very important that the instructions for Joshua be followed exactly, so this time I wrote in great detail just exactly how to do and what needed to be done and at exactly what times, and what needed to be looked for and how they should look. And, I went over the instructions verbally which I had written just so there was no chance for any misunderstanding. I also gave Tim our insurance card to use, which I should not have, he is supposed to have insurance of his own on the children, but I didn’t want to take a chance Joshua would not get the care he needed because his father didn’t want to have to foot the bill for the care.

I called nearly every day and talked with Joshua and Tim both. I felt bad I hadn’t gotten to talk with the other two children, but I always told Joshua to tell them I said hello and I love them. Every time I talked with Joshua it was after his appt with the Dr., and the times I talked with Tim was during the day quickly while he was at work and the children were out playing or something, so they weren’t right there for me to talk with them.
Tim did as he was supposed to and took Joshua to the Dr. He even had to end up taking Joshua to the Dr. 3 times that week and get him a new prescription of antibiotics. Because the Dr. they went to wasn’t familiar with the Joshua’s case (at a new Urgent care facility that was built there) he wanted Joshua back in just 24 hrs after the first time seeing him, to make sure things were going ok. I had called Frank to ask him if Joshua should go back that soon, because it had always been 48hrs here, and Frank said the Dr is just being cautious, that he too would have done the same thing with having something in progress like that. Finally after the second visit in SC, the Dr removed the packing and said it was ok to let the wound heal over.

I guess the children had a nice time with their father. None of them have really said much about the visit other than Tim wouldn’t buy them cereal and milk to eat, that they had to eat eggs (when he fixed them) or instant oatmeal everyday, and also that as usual, he nearly starved them and only fed them breakfast and dinner most days. It is pretty sad when you get them back and your child begs to have cereal for dinner because he has been craving it for a week. My children like eggs, but it is something they want only about once a week not 4 or 5 times a week. How hard would it have been to just buy the children some milk and cereal.
They had their Christmas on Tuesday down there and Tim actually bought them quite a few gifts this year for the first time. He bought them each a few toys/video games (things I told him they each wanted), and then bought them each a few pair of pants and 4 or tops/shirts. Joshua did tell me that his father was starting to really get irritating by mid-week, but other than not feeding them adequately (which is nothing new),and having to hear about and things being about the baby a lot, I guess the visit went well and the children had a fairly decent time.

To my surprise Tim wanted to meet early on Christmas eve to return the children, instead of late in the afternoon/early evening as we did last year and as I had told him this year.
I guess maybe he had plans with his girlfriend and her family or something. He still didn’t seem real happy when he brought the children back, as he hadn’t when we met him to give him the children, and it was as if he wanted to say something to me as he was leaving, but never did.

We stopped in Wilmington briefly to check a store there for a gift we still needed for up in Ohio, and then it was back home. We ended up getting home about 4 pm Christmas Eve. On the way home I probed the children for what all gifts Tim had gotten them, I had asked briefly the day before when I talked to each of them on the phone, but didn’t get a full list of everything. I needed to know what Tim hadn’t gotten them that we needed to get that went with things we and my mom had already gotten. So, alone I headed to the few stores I needed to get things in, and quickly ran in and out before they each closed at 5 or 6 that evening. I ended up being pretty successful, and if I wasn’t things would have to do.
Christmas eve night we baked some cookies to leave for Santa, and watched a movie and then the children were to bed about 10pm. Luckily there really was not any wrapping to be done except for the boy two large boxes of their computer and desk chair, so we didn’t have to stay up all night wrapping this year, I had just stayed up half the night every night all week long instead. I had to, with having a sick baby, trying to get the boys room painted and cleaned so we could set up the computer desk for the new computer they were getting, I had to stay up late to wrap presents after everything else was done that day.
Christmas day the children did not wake until about 10a.m. Asher and I were up about 8:30 but I just let Jimmy and the older children sleep until they woke themselves. I figured they had been sleep deprived all week long, if they wanted to sleep in it wouldn’t matter, the gifts would be there just the same weather it was 6am or 6pm.
I think each of the children were happy with what they got and each had a wonderful Christmas. We all just stayed in our pajamas all day and only put clothes on before we ate dinner, in fact I think one of the children were still in PJ’s then. I just decided to let the kids play on the play station, computer and watch movies all day and just be kids for the day. I on the other hand did laundry to get packed and fixed dinner. The following afternoon we would be heading to Ohio.

The trip to Ohio was fine. We did have some ice on the roads in western NC, and then some pretty thick fog in WV, but as far as traffic and problems there weren’t any and the children all did fine. Asher was a little fussy at times just because he didn’t feel well. I had taken Asher and Joshua both to the Urgent care that morning, one, for Joshua to get his final check on his back as they had requested for when he got back here to NC, and two, for them to check out Asher since he still had diarrhea and still wasn’t wanting to eat and drink. We finally arrived in Ohio at my moms around 5:30am safe and sound, and tired, or at least us adults were tired.

Well I think this is long enough so I had better end for now.
By the way Joshua,s cyst is pretty well healed, although Dr. J told us to expect it to come back. There is still some hard feeling tissue and he doesn’t think Frank got out the entire gland, which is what he said the cyst more than likely was because nothing came back from the cultures they did, it was an oil gland that got infected and will probably come back eventually.
Joshua is back in school now and I will write more about how that went in my next post.

Hope you all had a wonderful New Year!!