quick clicks

preteenagers today articles

preteenagers today q&a

teenagers today articles

teenagers today q&a

message boards

research baby names

prepare a birth plan

content channels

ip channel rss feeds

read birth stories

read parenting stories

recommended books

e-newsletters

safety recalls

ip diaries

ip store

mom of the month

dad of the month

editor's letter

letters to the editor

Bridgett's Diary Entries Diary Navigation: Choose A Diary Entry -------------------- Latest Entry: 7/2/08 -------------------- 1/23/08 10/22/07 7/19/07 5/14/07 3/12/07 2/20/07 1/6/07, Entry 3 1/6/07, Entry 2 1/6/07, Entry 1 10/25/06 10/14/06 10/10/06 9/19/06, Entry 3 9/19/06, Entry 2 9/19/06, Entry 1 9/7/06 9/6/06 8/28/06 8/10/06, Entry 3 8/10/06, Entry 2 8/10/06, Entry 1 7/25/06 7/12/06, Entry 3 7/12/06, Entry 2 7/12/06, Entry 1 6/27/06 6/26/06 6/15/06 6/11/06 6/9/06 -------------------- Bridgett's Introduction

Mr. Social and hormone flying everywhere.....

September 19, 2006

First off I would like to apologize for being MIA for so long. I just can't believe it has been 3 weeks since I was here and said an update was coming soon, where do the days go? LOL!

Anyway on with he update about Tyler AKA: Mr. Social. As the title says, there are hormones flying everywhere, I think we are really dealing with some puberty issues here. By that I mean Tyler seems to be an emotional mess these days. I think I have mentioned before that Tyler is physically and responsibly more mature than his older brother. Since he was around 10 Tyler has had long dark axillary hair, not just peach fuzz and a bit of darker facial hair coming in and his legs are very hairy. Now, I think we are getting the hormone part of puberty. The last few weeks Tyler has just been a mess when it comes to his emotions. I don't know if it is because he is totally stressed out or that he want to be a social stud , or the fact that he is just going through that phase of puberty.

The other night after I had sent the two older boys to bed and I went up to check on them I  heard them still talking. The rule is once the lights are out you need to be quiet so your brother can get to sleep if he wants to and they both just really need to get the most sleep they can. That is one of the many downsides of having to share a room with your brother, trying to get to sleep and he won't be quiet so you can. Anyway, I opened the door and poked my head in and told the boys to get quiet and get to sleep. As I was starting to close the door again Joshua said "hey Mom, Tyler has a girlfriend and she just lives around the corner." I just responded ok, reminded them to get quiet and closed the door. I know Tyler was still awake because he had just been talking before I opened the door, but he did not say a word as his brother was blurting out the news. So, I guess the girlfriend thing is true.

I know there is a girl, that just lives on the next street and down the road that runs back behind our house, that Tyler and his friend Trey, (that lives just  two blocks down on the other side of the main road our cul-de-sak is off of)  meet as they walk to school ,almost every day since the first week of school. One day last week I went by the school to see if Tyler wanted a ride home, it had been raining and I picked up the other kids, so I went by to see if he wanted to ride home since it was sort of on my way home. Tyler is the last one of the kids out of the 3 in school, that gets out of school. I didn't see him at the school, so I went on towards home, which is the road they walk along, and I saw Tyler, Trey and a girl walking. As we came to them I pulled over and rolled down the window and asked Tyler if he wanted a ride.  Tyler quickly said "I'm walking". I guess he just wanted me to go as quick as I could and  he kind of seemed embarrassed. So, thinking back, maybe this little girl is the girlfriend.  Not that I studied her that day I saw them walking, but from what I did notice, she looks to be a fairly cute, slightly tomboyish, thin girl. 

As I said Tyler has been so moody and emotional lately I just haven't felt there has been the right opportunity to ask him about the girlfriend. Honestly nearly every day the last two weeks or so, pretty much since school started, Tyler has had a little emotional breakdown or he has been very disrespectful to me yelling or just being a smart alick back at me when I ask him something.  Thinking back to one night last week, a girl would have made the difference about not getting to go to the game. You see, Tyler's friend Trey, who just lives two blocks down in the neighborhood, has parents that work for the area schools. His Mom is the Principle for one of the schools outside of town, and his Dad is the football coach for one of our High schools rival teams across town. So, there is always a game or practice or some sporting event of Trey's going on all night of the week. Well, all Tyler wants to do these days is go everywhere Trey goes to what ever game. The first week of school Tyler asked to go to one of the games with Trey, that his dad was coaching. This time I said yes, you may go. Tyler didn't have any homework and I didn't really see a reason why he couldn't go, after all it wasn't costing me anything, they were going to take him and he would get in free because of Trey's dad being the coach. Alot of times Trey asks if Tyler can do things with him just so he has someone his age there, because he just has one several years younger brother. Well, that night they went to the game Tyler did not get home until after 10:30 and I didn't like it a bit. The next week, during the week, Tyler asked to go to the game and I wasn't so sure I should let him. Although this time, the game was on this side of town, and Tyler proclaimed he would be home much earlier since it wasn't across town this time. I ended up letting him go, and I think it was later than before when he got home. The first time I let him go to the game I had feed Tyler's pet crested gecko, this time I wasn't doing it. So this time, there was school the next day, it was late, a gecko still needed fed, and Tyler was too tired to want to do it.  Well, right then and there I told him there would not be any more during the week games that he would be attending. Of course, Tyler got a little mouthy about it, but I thought he understood why.

Well, last Thursday night I think it was, there was a football game at Tyler's Middle School. I guess that Tyler had made plans with Trey to go, and more than likely with the girlfriend. Not long after Tyler's got home from school that day, after he got his little bit of homework done, he came to me and asked if he could go to the ballgame. As much as I hated to do it, I reminded Tyler that the week before I told him there would be no more during the week ballgames attend unless they were his own, meaning his baseball games. Once again Tyler got a little mouthy and upset about the whole situation. Not long after having our conversation the phone rang and it was Trey. This the thing that really burns me about  kids not taking no for an answer, or acting as if they never heard what you said the first time they asked.  With phone in hand and not covered Tyler asks me if he can go to the game. Once again, Being the Bed Guy here , I reminded Tyler of our conversation just minutes earlier, as if he didn't remember, that no he couldn't go to the game. Right there on the phone Tyler started crying and nearly begging to go to the game. Once again I said no, and once again he wouldn't take no for an answer. Finally, after several minutes went by, Tyler started talking on the phone again. This time he acted as if he didn't know the reason why I had said no, and saying unkind things about me. Right there in earshot of his friend on the phone, I let him know I did not appreciate him talking like that, and  if he wanted to disrespect me to his friends then that would be the last time he spoke on the phone for a very long time. Tyler finally stopped the nonsense and got of the phone, only to run up to his room. An  hour or so later Tyler emerged from his room for dinner and everything was fine.

Did I mention Tyler is trying to play in the Band? When they had to fill out their schedules last year for what classes they wanted to take, they got to choose between several different options for classes other than the required core classes. One of the choices they had to make was whether they wanted to be in dance, choir or band. Which really does not give boys much of an option. If they are not singers or don't want to be in choir, then they have to be in band, because dance is really just for the girls. Dance is also the option for those who don't want PE. Anyway, Tyler decided he wanted to take band. So a couple days before school started we had the Lemonade on the Lawn at the Middle school. This gives the children a chance to find all their classrooms and for them and the parents to all meet the teachers, before the first day of class. During our search for classrooms Tyler and I went into the Band room and met the band director. Tyler was asked his name and what grade he was in, from there the Band Director handed me a group of papers and asked what instrument Tyler wanted to play. I told him he wanted to play the drums, that Tyler was ADHD and loved drumming on everything or tapping, so I thought it would be good for him, plus studies have shown the drums are a good thing for the ADHD child, it keeps them moving therefore keeps there attention better and uses more energy than most other common band instruments.  Mr.B was quick to tell me yes, most ADHD kids are drummer's, but in his band drums and saxophone are instruments you actually have to try-out for and prove you are the best for the instrument, this being because everyone wants to play these instruments.

I have never heard of a beginner band member having to try out to be able to learn to play an instrument. I think about half the children that start playing in band in 5th (that's when they start where I'm from) or 6th grade, actually end up still playing after the first semester, year, or by the time they get to high school. I know High School weeds out alot of kids because then part of your band requirement is Marching Band and some kids just can't learn music by memory and they are not coordinated or capable of memorizing the steps and directions to make the formations. Anyway, I think it is not only unfair for kids just finding out what their instrument knack my be, but that is is totally absurd to make children who nothing about an instrument or how to play it, to try out to play the instrument that they dream of playing.  So, a couple days after school started there was to be a meeting with the Mr. B and a Representative for the Music Store that the school has a contract with. This meeting was supposed to be for us, the parents, to give us information and options on how we wanted to go about obtaining an instrument for our children. Well, Mr.B hadn't gotten things done that he needed to get done with the kids, and not all kids even knew what instrument they were going to be playing, All the kids that wanted to play drums had not gotten to do the little drumming test, so we didn't even know what instrument we were going to have to obtain. After the meeting I had Tyler approach Mr. B and ask him about the drums. Mr.B proceeded to have Tyler sit down and do the drumming test with his hands. Tyler did not fair real good during the test, he was sitting and it was totally awkward for him because the table was up to his chest that he was trying to drum on.

Mr. B told us he would still had to test a few kids, that he would let Tyler know in a day or two who would be able to play the drums. I guess what he didn't realize, we were within hearing distance of him when he told the mom in front of us, that her daughter did wonderful on the her test, that she definantly would be an asset to the band. Come to find out the girl was from a family band and plays the drums part time. So, there was one of the 4 available spots in Tyler's class for drums. The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. I asked Tyler if the kids that got to try-out in class were sitting down. Tyler said no, they got to stand. I had a problem with it, the whole sitting down trying out. Unless you are playing a drum set, more than likely you are going to be standing when are trying to play a snare drum. So, I had Tyler go back over to Mr.B and ask him if he could please try the test again, only this time to be standing because it was very awkward for him trying to take the test with the table so high and sitting. Mr. B, basically laughed at Tyler and told him it doesn't make a difference if you are sitting or standing.

Tyler went into class the next day and he told him he would have to find another instrument to play, because he wouldn't be playing the drums. When Tyler got home I asked if he found out and he told me what had been said.  Right then I got on the phone and called the Middle School, trying to speak with one of the counselors to try and find out what our options were as far as classes,  if we pulled Tyler from Band. The Secretary told me there was no Counselor available, but she would leave a message for one of them to get back to me the next day. The following morning one of the Counselors called me. She asked the reason for wanting to remove Tyler form Band. I told her it was because he wasn't able to play the instrument he wanted to play. She told me she could get a message to Mr.B to call me that maybe he could reconsider he decision. I told her I didn't think he was going to do so, that we had tried to get him to give Tyler another chance and he was only allowing 4 children in the class to play and one place was already taken for sure with the family band girl, that there was no reason fro Mr. B to call. Well, a couple hours later Mr.B called and was not too happy about the whole situation. I let him know that I had said he didn't need to call, we were just wanting to remove Tyler from band.

That evening I started looking on-line at the yard sale web-sites we have in the area to see what instruments people may have listed for sale. I ended up finding an older trombone and a newer trumpet. I told Tyler we could probably get him the Trumpet, but he needed to decide if that was an instrument he wanted to try to play or not, then we would need to see if we could get it to have Mr.B check it out before we bought it, to make sure it would be ok to use. So, finally Tyler decided he wanted to try playing the Trumpet, so we got it and Mr.B said it would be ok, so we bought it, and now Tyler just has to learn to play the thing, and we have left his schedule the way it was.

Well, I feel I have been typing forever and I'm sure you are ready for this to end, aren't you?!? Thanks for stopping by and hanging in there. Feel free to stop by my board and say hello or drop me any suggestions or comments you have. But please remember to be respectful.

Until Next Time....................

God bless,

Bridgett and Tyler