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Home › Articles › Self-Destructive Behaviors › The Troubled Teen

The Troubled Teen

6 Warning Signs to Watch For

By Teri Brown

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Acting on Red Flags

Communication is key in guiding your teen back to a safe and productive course. Unfortunately, conversing with teens, especially those who are in a full-on rebellion, can be like walking through a field of landmines.

"Adolescence is precarious, delicate and truly exasperating in every way," Moran says. "So as a parent, don't wait until you're angry, because it can only result in a blow up. Talk to your teen sooner rather than later as you see things change. By doing this, you are communicating concern and are observing of your child. Teens are often so involved with themselves that they actually may not see the changes you do. Selecting a quiet moment is key in approaching a teen; preferably both parents should be involved to present a united front of concern."

When you talk to your teen, remember to exhibit empathy. Being a teen in today's culture isn't easy. Listen without interrupting, and acknowledge what your teen has to say even if you disagree. "Take note of your tone as a parent," Moran says. "If the conversation is escalating and results in screaming, this will only close down the lines of communication. And remember that everything doesn't have to be solved in one evening." One way to do this is to take your teen to his or her favorite restaurant. This is a good way to keep it light and yet really communicate.

Tackling your teen's negative and potentially risky behavior isn't easy, but it's well worth it to communicate with them early and often – as soon as you see the signs that something is amiss. It's less painful for both you and your teen to nip the problem in the bud than it is to deal with the aftermath of consistent poor choices.

Is Your Teen Headed for Trouble?

Clinical Psychologist Patrick Friman offers the following warning signs:

  1. Grades drop precipitously.
  2. New questionable companions – those who will not come in to meet parents, whose own parents provide limited supervision or are way too tolerant, who exhibit behavior not allowed by you for your own children or who show disrespect to adults.
  3. Major change in musical interests – This is not in and of itself a problem, but any major change in interests is something that should be monitored to see if any of the other signs come with it (e.g., change in music accompanied by change in sleep habits, dropping grades and the discovery of a lighter in the youth's bedroom).
  4. Defiance – Some is expected, but when it becomes regular and intense, something is wrong.
  5. Any sign of drug use.
  6. Major loss of interest from a previously high-level interest in prosocial activities (e.g., sports) that is not replaced by a new prosocial activity (e.g., reduced interest in sports substituted by an increased interest in a band).


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