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When Teens Make Wrong Choices
By Laurie Dove
The decision to run away from home changed 16-year-old *Cara Helmer's life. But unlike most fleeing teenagers, Helmer's life changed for the better.
Helmer was angry, her mother, *Mary Helmer, says, because she couldn't go on a date with a neighborhood teen who was recently convicted for selling drugs to his classmates. After an argument with her parents, Helmer cut open her bedroom window screen, packed a change of clothes and left. She was later found by a police officer at a local bar and returned to her family.
At the time, nothing about the situation seemed positive.
"It was just clear that we had to get her out of this situation before anything good could happen," Mary Helmer says.
For three months, Helmer's parents sent her to live with out-of-state relatives. While there, she was expected to get a job, pay rent and continue school. "We removed the temptation and changed the situation," Mary Helmer says. "Cara learned to appreciate what she had and learned how hard it was to support herself without Mom and Dad's help."
Today, several years after making the decision to run away, Helmer's life has gone down a different path. She has made a string of good decisions and is now happily married with a newborn of her own.
Not all bad choices made by teens are as dangerous or extreme as Cara's decision to run away, says clinical psychologist Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D. Bad choices can also include failing to study for an important test, avoiding help for a hard-to-understand assignment or showing up late for a part-time job.
While it can be hard for parents to understand why their teen makes bad choices, teens have a variety of reasons for their behavior, Cohen-Sandler says. Often, they are motivated by the following: