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Home › Articles › General › Nasty Girls

Nasty Girls

Nipping Gossip in the Bud

By Laura Paul

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Therefore, she always tells parents: "You are not a bad parent if your child is mean, but it is bad parenting if you won't hold your child accountable for mean behavior."

When you overhear your daughter gossiping to friends, wait until you are alone with her. Then question her and have her apologize to the girl, following up later to find out how the apology went.

Profile of a Gossiper

Wiseman describes five signs that might clue parents into the fact that their daughter may be a skilled gossiper:

  1. She is really good at saying the right things to adults.
  2. She is charming and presents well to parents, teachers and other adults because she needs to slip under the radar.
  3. She is socially intelligent.
  4. She is highly invested in knowing and being involved in the ups and downs of who is popular.
  5. She organizes a birthday party or any party considering every strategy of who should be invited, why and the possible consequences.

The In Crowd

If teens are not part of the "in" crowd, how can parents help them feel included in other ways?

Wiseman says the more a child sees her self-worth as tied to things outside of popularity, the more she will have a way to get through her teen years better for the experience. "She will still have experiences that hurt her feelings, but she will have a buffer," Wiseman says. "The only thing is that you have to be really careful that your daughter is involvd in an activity that does not replicate these issues as well. Sports teams can be just as bad if the coach is not an excellent leader."


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