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Model Behavior: Today's Teens and the Role Models They Choose
By Tamar Weiss
Walk into your teenager's room and you're likely to come across posters of teen idols wearing too much makeup and too little clothing. You may spot an item of your child's clothing lying around and you wonder, "How did I ever let my kid purchase such a thing?"
Clearly the personalities that teens today model themselves after are a far cry from the cast of The Brady Bunch. Yet with the television and media exposure and peer pressure that teens are faced with, it's no wonder that they dress, act, and look the way they do.
"Children choose models for themselves as early as the preschool years," says Dr. Amy Beth Taublieb, a clinical psychologist in Buffalo, NY. "The type of models changes with the developmental level of the child."
In Taublieb's experience, many teens choose models for themselves who they see as having particular characteristics that they --the teens -- are lacking. For example, a teen who perceives herself as unattractive may choose a supermodel as a role model. In the event that a parent feels there is something wrong with the role model their child has chosen, the parent needs to "look at the choice as a symptom of what is really going on psychologically," says Taublieb. "Try to figure out what the teen is trying to compensate for by choosing that model, then address that issue directly with the teen."
Whatever the reasoning may be for a child choosing a particular role model, parents may be faced with an uphill battle if they don't like what they see. "Television and media make it really hard to parent," says Ilona Lachterman, mother of three teenagers. "I want certain standards in my family, and pressure from TV and peer pressure work against me sometimes. I try to draw the line at some point when I vehemently disagree with a mode of dress or behavior," she says. "Yet at the same time I try to compromise so that my kids don't stand out too much."