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Home › Articles › Body Image › Low Self-Esteem

Low Self-Esteem

Is Your Teen Suffering From Yours?

By Tamekia Reece

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As a parent, you've likely come across books, magazine articles and even TV shows about teens suffering from low self-esteem. But there's one thing they all forget to address: teens who suffer not from their own low self-esteem, but from that of a parent. Here's what your low self-esteem and negative attitude does to your teen, and here's how you can change it.

Attitude Adjustment
You're probably doubting your self-esteem has anything to do with your teen, but experts agree that teens mimic their parents' actions, both the good and bad. "A mother who is frequently using negative self-talk, who verbally beats herself and who doesn't stand up for herself, teaches that behavior to her teen children," says Leni Kass, co-founder of HeyUGLY.com, an organization dedicated to creating programs for teens that build self-esteem.

To make matters worse, Kass says, parents with low self-esteem are far less likely to emphasize the positive in their children. "They are often as hard, or harder, on their children than they are on themselves," Kass says.

For a teen who doesn't have positive role models, this can be a tremendous blow. Not feeling as though a parent's expectations can be met or not getting enough positive feedback can lead a teen to stop trying altogether and begin failing in school, dropping out of activities she once enjoyed and even becoming depressed.

Depression isn't the only major effect either. Teens who often hear Mom or Dad obsess about weight and appearance often develop eating disorders or addictions to exercise as a way to "avoid the thing that's stressing Mom or Dad so much."

In some instances, a parent's low self-esteem stems from a negative experience with the opposite sex, and some parents have no qualms about sharing their negative outlook with their teen. Deborah McMahon, psychotherapist and author of The Book of Universal Knowledge says, "This severely impacts the opposite sexed child, and they often carry shame and guilt about being their sex."

Attitudes Toward Others
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