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Shh Mom! Stop Spilling My Secrets
Why Parents Should Use Discretion When Talking About Their Teens
By Tamekia Reece
"When I told my mom I was having sex, she told everyone in the family," says Miranda*, 17. "Not only was I embarrassed, I also realized I can't trust her."
Karen Gordon, an Oregon mother of a 15-year-old, says teens shouldn't have to tell parents what to keep to themselves. "Even though my son doesn't qualify his conversations as 'Don't tell anyone this,' I'm careful in what I pass on to others."
Leni Kass of Illinois, the mother of a 14-year-old, says it's all about knowing your child. "If my daughter is wrestling with an issue that's causing her stress or pain, I won't add to that burden by causing her to worry that everyone knows what she's going through," she says.
Everyone? Yes, everyone. "As soon as you tell one person, they tell others," Ginsberg says. And your teen is bound to find out.
"Sometimes there are things you don't understand or don't know how to handle, so you have to talk to others," says Debra Clark of Dallas, Texas, mother of three teen girls.
Parents do get advice from others, but there are ways to get this insight without ruining your relationship with your teen. Kass says she goes to only her closest friends, those who have her teen's best interests at heart. Gilda Carle, relationship expert and author of Teen Talk with Dr. Gilda: A Girl's Guide to Dating
