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Model Behavior: Today's Teens and the Role Models They Choose
By Tamar Weiss
While teenagers often choose role models because they truly want to be like those they've chosen, sometimes role models are selected as a means of defiance. "My son knows I can't stand this one rock star that all the kids seem to be listening to these days," says Rochelle, mother of a teen. "I think he put up the posters and bought the CD's just to aggravate me. I just tried to let the whole thing pass, but still let him know how much I disliked what the rock star stood for."
"Preteen and teen years are characteristically years of rebellion," Taublieb says. "The kid chooses a role model whom they hope or know will horrify their parents. During these situations the best thing for the parent to do is act appropriately horrified. Try to tolerate that hideous poster on the bedroom door -- that is a relatively safe way for the child to rebel."
Despite how it may appear, parents are the first and most powerful role model for children. "When kids look elsewhere, they look to parents for their reaction to this new 'role model,'" Taublieb says.
It's reassuring to think that the foundations parents provide their children when they are young will see them through yet another difficult stage of parent-teen relationships. "I hope that I've sent the right message to my kids in terms of what actions and appearances to copy and what not to," says Lachterman. "I can't deny that they are teenagers and we won't agree on everything. Right now I'm satisfied knowing that though they may look to a movie star for modes of dress, they'll also look to an Olympic athlete and learn perseverance and satisfaction from a job well done."
