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Home › Articles › Teenagers › Nice Teens Do Brag

Nice Teens Do Brag

Expert Advice From Communication Coach Peggy Klaus

By Tamekia Reece

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, a set of questions that will help him realize what's brag-worthy about him.

After your teen has a story together, have him say it to you. "See if he's passionate and if it's interesting to listen to," Klaus says. Also, be sure it doesn't run too long. It's good enough if it's anywhere from 15 to 60 seconds, says Klaus.

Then, work on it. "Work with them on getting it to be more exciting, getting them to have more passion and excitement in their voice," Klaus says. It needs to sound as if they were talking about something they love. You can also bring out the camcorder. "Tape them doing it, so the teen can watch and hear," says Klaus. You should also help your teen learn to modify the message so that it's appropriate for different people and situations. He shouldn't approach a college admissions counselor with the same bragalogue as he would his friends. By learning to modify it, he'll be brag-ready in all situations.

Good Versus Bad
No matter how great someone's brag-worthy tidbits are, they mean nothing if the person's a bad bragger. To help prevent your teen from blowing his brag campaign with a brag bomb, here are some things you can teach him to avoid:

  • The Laundry List – Consisting of "I did this" and "I did that," the laundry list is a run-down of any and all accomplishments. No one wants to hear that! Not only is it boring, but it's very likely you're giving way too much information about the wrong things and not enough about the right things.
  • Me, Myself and I – Talking constantly about himself is another common staple of a bad bragger. Klaus suggests your teen ask questions of and show interest in the accomplishments of others. Just as he's probably turned off when his arch rival talks about himself and only himself, others are turned off when he does it.
  • Out to Outdo – A good example of this one, according to Klaus, is if one of your teen's friends approaches her and says, "I just got an A on the English paper," and instead of your daughter congratulating her, she says, "Oh, well, I got an A and the two extra credit points." Even though that may seem like an innocent comment, trying to one-up someone is a big mistake most bad braggers make. She should let her friend have "the moment," and she'll have hers when the time is right.
  • Inappropriate Situations – Learning a friend's parents are getting a divorce or the family's pet just died isn't a good time for your teen to bring up her recent acceptance into Harvard. She may think her good news will cheer up her friend, but chances are it'll make things worse and cause her to think your teen doesn't take what she's going through seriously. There's a time and place for everything. Be sure your teen keeps that in mind before she begins to brag.
  • Exaggerating or Lying – Probably the biggest mistake anyone can make when it comes to bragging is exaggerating what they've done or flat out lying. Sometimes it can be quite easy for the lie to be discovered, and being known as a liar is a lot worse than being known as a bad bragger.
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