Tops with My Teen

10 Tips to Help Dads Become Their Daughter's Best Friend

By V. Michael Santoro, author of Realizing the Power of Love (Midwest Book Review, 2006)

It may seem impossible to believe, but today's teens do want to consider their parents as friends, even though they think we could never understand the realities of their world. They are also interested in what it was like being a teenager during the Stone Age. Life without cell phones or the Internet must have been unimaginable!

So even with this interest, can a father and teenage daughter really become best friends when competing with busy schedules and raging hormones? The answer is a resounding YES – and it is worth the effort!

What is important to understand is that both of you have to want the new relationship on a long-term basis. You cannot appear to be going through the motions, or acting like you are fitting this new relationship into your busy schedules.

As a father, I knew I was a good provider. I put food on the table, a roof over her head and helped fund those great sales that saved me so much money.

As important as the father role is, it was improving the "Dad" role that allowed me to develop a lasting relationship with my daughter. Essentially, I modified the communication and problem-solving skills that I successfully used at work to improve my relationship with my daughter.

The following are the 10 ways that helped me to become one of my teenage daughter's best friends:

1. We defined what trust meant to each of us. We also agreed that there would be no games or hidden agendas – just honesty – to build the trust.

Want to see more?

• Flex Your Time, Not Just Your Muscles: New Options Help Dads Be More Involved
• Making the Connection: Helping Dads Forge Son and Daughter Bonds
• 10 Ways Dads Can Connect with Their Children: Tips for Being an Involved Parent
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