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Home › Articles › Stepparenting Behaviors › From Two to Three

From Two to Three

Discovering a Father

By Ashley Chin

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Throughout my remaining high school years, our relationship grew stronger and more stable. We still had our moments, but it took my first steps into adulthood to realize I did have a father in my life.

My first semester away at college, I fell victim to the plague of homesickness. Constantly, I called home to talk with my mother or Robert, usually crying. Without a car of my own, they would pick me up each Friday afternoon and drive me back the following Sunday evening. My mother wanted to give it more time, but after two months of this exhausting routine, Robert ultimately decided it was time for me to come home. After completing my first semester of college, I obliged.

Back home, attending a local college, Robert and I realized we did in fact have a father-daughter relationship. I loved him as a father, and he loved me as a daughter. I couldn't imagine my world without him. Soon, Robert officially adopted me as his own, even though I was chronologically considered an adult. His name now read on my birth certificate. I took his last name, and I knew I had two loving parents and the family I always longed for.

In reality, I had my family long before I understood before both of us understood. I do not believe I possessed the ability to understand during my teen years. Our relationship took time, battles, wounds and scars, but it is the healed scars I cherish most. Without the scars, I believe a bottomless void would encompass half of me, and that thought makes me say thank you every day for the father I have today.

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