Parental Projection

Is It Your Passion or Your Teen's?

By Barbara McRae, MCC

We all want what's best for our kids. We want them to be happy and successful. But could it be that you are projecting your dreams onto your kids? Do you know what they want for themselves? Many parents think "good parenting" means making sure your child excels in academics, attends a top college and makes a lot of money.

On one level we know that getting good grades does not ensure getting a great job – let alone result in being happy. In fact, most people are miserable in their jobs. Yet, if our child doesn't follow this conventional path, there's a tendency to think we have failed in some way. Nonsense!

Consider this: Instead of pushing your kid to get the highest grade, find out what your teen's interests and passions are. Here's how. Ask your teen these 5 key questions:

If your son answers, "I just want to play video games," just listen, don't panic. Video game designing is a hot new field. Recently a father and his 16-year-old son discovered that a passion for playing video games can pay off. Granted not all kids who enjoy computer games have what it takes to turn it into a bona fide career. In this case, game artist suited this young man's natural strengths. The best way to approach this is by noting what your child is already good at. Talent is defined as "a natural ability, aptitude or recurring productive behavior." If your teen has trouble answering, go ahead and offer your observations. Just make sure you don't project your dreams onto your daughter. Remember Casey's mom in the movie Ice Princess

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• Talk about it!