Creative Curfews

A Little Clarity Goes a Long Way

By Suzanne G. Beyer

My friend, Sylvia, conflicting with her teenager about curfew, sought my opinion. "Does my 17-year-old daughter's 11 p.m. curfew sound reasonable to you?" she asked.

My thoughts quickly reverted to my own years as a teenager, thinking that's exactly the time that I had to be in on weekends. If I broke curfew, Dad would ground me for two weeks. I tried to explain to Sylvia, however, what teenagers' lives look like today. Times have changed since we were teenagers. Today, teens work varied shifts until 10 p.m. or participate in sports practices several nights a week that extend to 9 p.m. or later. For a group to gather on a weekend or during summer evenings, the teens look to a 9 to 10 p.m. meeting time, unlike the 7 p.m. gathering time of yesteryear.

"Your request for her to be home at 11 p.m. is unreasonable," I offered, siding with her daughter – not because I didn't desperately want that for my own teens, but I knew why the evening started so late, how long it takes to rent a video, to choose someone's house to watch it and then to return home. Eleven p.m.? Never!

Zemorah Murray, director of youth development at the YMCA of Greater Seattle, presents a more concrete explanation on teens' late hours. "The teen brain isn't ready to slow down until 11 p.m., taking until 1 a.m. to relax enough to fall asleep," she says. "It's critical for parents to encourage their teenagers, especially on a weeknight, to sit in bed and quietly read after 10 p.m."

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