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Turning Points for Better and Worse

Facing Anorexia, Dishonesty and Separation

An Excerpt (Part Two)

By Cheryl Dellasega, Ph.D.

Strong-willed and wise beyond her years is the best way to describe Lindsay. She's very determined, with little patience. She gets this from me, which is why we seem to always be butting heads.

Both sides of our family are fairly slender, so weight has never been an issue for any of us. When Lindsay was about eleven or twelve she began to gain weight until she was up to about 156 pounds. She never looked big because of her height, so I told her it was normal. I didn't realize every other weekend her Dad was commenting on how much weight she had gained since he last saw her. It's a wonder she didn't completely fall apart.

We recently spent about three hours one night just sitting on our patio and talking openly and honestly about everything: her dreams for the future, her relationship with her Dad and brother, college, sex, anything you could imagine. I realized how mature she was at 15, and it scared me, especially when she said: "Mom, I feel like an old soul in a young body."

It was on that night that she told me what she'd gone through for all those months during her visits to her Dad. Then she told me that she was sorry about the remark she made so many years ago about me and her Dad and said she realized how much I had done for her and it made me feel very good. When she told me she admired me, and wanted to be like me when she grew up, I really lost it. What a great kid. For the first time, I knew I had done something right.

Debi Dilling, Florida