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The New Teens: Sexually Informed and Responsible
By Virginia Gilbert
The number of college males who are waiting for marriage to have sex surprises Maggie Kozicharow. Referring to one such friend on campus, she says:
"He's not a nerd. He's a cool guy. He wants to wait to have sex till he's married because his father fathered illegitimate children. His parents never married, led this hippie existence. He's got all these half-brothers and half-sisters. My friend has made a conscious choice not to be like his father; he thinks that's irresponsible."
Matt Jones, a 16-year-old attending Laces Magnet School in Los Angeles, exhibits a similarly "adult" outlook on male-female relationships.
"Nowadays sex can be not a big deal," Matt says. "I want it to be special."
Despite having a girlfriend currently, Matt is not convinced that she's "the one" and is choosing to keep his virginity for now. Interestingly, his girlfriend is not a virgin, but doesn't pressure Matt for sex. According to Matt, she had sex with a previous boyfriend, but felt that experience was negative.
When he does choose to have intercourse, Matt imagines he will use condoms and ask his partner to be on birth control as well. When asked the reason for this somewhat stringent practice, Matt confides:
"One of my big fears is I would have sex with a girl I didn't really like, and she would get pregnant and end up having the kid and maybe something would be wrong with it, and I wouldn't be able to take care of it."
Even in this situation, Matt says he would not be willing to give the child up for adoption. Discussing the option of terminating such an unwanted pregnancy, Matt believes that, for him, the only acceptable choice is the "morning after pill" because it stops fertilization rather than destroying a viable embryo. Matt explains that the thought of abortion has haunted him since he learned about a friend's background.
"I know this girl whose mom tried to have an abortion with her. When my friend found out, it affected her. She's a cool person, I can't imagine her not being here."
