728x90
my iParenting
From Our Sponsors
e-newsletters
Sign up to receive our free weekly e-newsletters

new terms of use
new privacy policy
award-winning products
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families.
Home › Articles › Relationships › You're Not My Father!

You're Not My Father!

Helping Teens Adjust to New Stepfamilies

By Gwen Morrison

Pages:  1  2  3  4  

As the mother of two teenagers, I am keenly aware that they are not the easiest individuals to live with at the very best of times. With raging hormones, a constant struggle to find independence and individuality, even the slightest changes can bring out the worst. When the change is permanent, as in a new stepparent, it can be difficult for the entire family.

Susan Bartell, a licensed psychologist from Port Washington, N.Y., and the author of Stepliving for Teens: Getting Along With Stepparents, Parents and Siblings(Price Stern Sloan, 2001) and Mommy or Daddy: Whose Side Am I On?(Adams Media, 2002), specializes in helping children and their parents. She says that careful forethought and a good grasp of typical adolescent issues can go a long way toward easing your teen into a new stepfamily.

"As you can imagine, if your teen makes a reasonably smooth transition into the stepfamily, it will be that much easier for everyone else as well," says Bartell. "A thoughtful, sensitive approach to helping your teen adjust will go a very long way to maintaining or creating successful relationships for you, your teen and your new family."

Go Slowly
A child who is old enough to remember their home and family before it was disrupted by divorce may have initial feelings of resentment toward the new relationship. The child is used to seeing his biological parents together and may have mixed emotions about seeing a parent "dating" someone else.

"Introduce your children to only the people with whom you feel you have a serious chance at a future together," says Bartell. "A short meeting is always best, and it should not include the other person's children."

Pages:  1  2  3  4  


Want to see more?