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Home › Articles › Essays › Congratulations, It's a Teenager

Congratulations, It's a Teenager

Waking Up One Day to Single Fatherhood

By Rick March

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Hi, my name is Rick, and I'm a single parent of a teenage boy named Paul.

That may sound slightly like the greeting at a codependency meeting, but for me it is a well-earned badge of honor sometimes.

So how did I wake up to single fatherhood? My ex-wife got custody of her biological son after our divorce. Her first husband, my son's biological father, has a lukewarm interest in my son and I do nothing to either encourage or discourage their relationship. My ex-wife dropped my son off with me for two weeks while she went on vacation and that was two years ago. She hasn't called or come back.

Go figure.

Those are the facts, Sergeant Friday, no embellishment none needed. Notice that I refer to Paul as my son? That's because he calls me Dad. He has for the six years his mom and I were married, and he does today.

Each day was different, because Paul had a flurry of emotions (naturally) and like most boys, had difficulty expressing them. Folks, I'm no shrink. I don't even play one on TV. But I knew we had to re-bond and quick or this kid was going to get lost in a sea of pain, and no child deserves that without exception.

For weeks he insisted that his mom was coming back, and while I knew in my heart there was a better chance of me dating Meg Ryan, I didn't beef with him. Instead, we painted what was his bedroom when he and his mom lived with me. Home Depot, mixing paint, buying brushes Tim Allen would have been proud.

So we taped, spilled, went through rollers and laughed. When we were done, it looked like Moe, Larry and Curly had done the job. But we were both pretty satisfied, and we had bonded.

Next up, I suggested we go to a local store and pick out some modern furniture for his room. Paul wasn't so eager to do this because he thought it was too permanent. After all, his mom was coming back. Not so much. So I suggested that I didn't want an empty room there, and the stuff would be his when he came to visit, so he might as well choose it anyway.

Everything had to be very low key, no pressure, and I created a sense of comfort and belonging for him. There was no sense in forcing him to realize what had happened. There would be plenty of time for that.

I was now a full-time dad. Paul is one tough kid, let me tell you. So I took all the experience that I had when my parents raised me and did the opposite. Not exactly, but close. We would watch Seinfeld and The Simpsons

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