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An excerpt from: Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions Are Really Telling Our Children
By Elizabeth Pantley
My three older children, at the ripe old ages of 8, 10 and 12 -- have the skills necessary to do exactly that. On several occasions, they have been given the privilege of planning and preparing a meal. The three of them discuss a menu plan and create a shopping list. Then Mom, Dad or Grandma takes them to the grocery store and the three kids do their shopping (as the adult-in-charge sips a coffee at the front deli counter.) They bring their groceries home and prepare the meal. It is absolutely delightful to listen as the three of them converse and discuss the details of the preparation, "Do you think these pieces are too big?" "How long do you cook beans?" "Do you think this is enough cheese?" The meals are very creative, usually colorful and even tasty. In addition to knowing that they have learned important life skills, the glow on their faces as they bask in the success of their endeavor makes it all worthwhile.
So how do you get to this point? If your little one is younger than 6, consider yourself in the "training stage." This is a time when learning occurs and habits form. I know: it's so much easier to pick up your child's toys than to go through the labor-intensive process that "letting your child do it himself" really is. It does take more time and energy to "let" your child pick up his toys, tie his shoes, and pour hs juice; as the "help" you need to give is often more complicated than if you would have done it yourself. In the long run, however, you'll save yourself a virtual lifetime of catering to a child who has never had the opportunity to assume these responsibilities at a young age. Such a child will see you as his personal valet and will resist giving up such a luxury. Wouldn't you?


